Podcast

Podcast Ep. 44 – Parenting in Troubled Times: Addressing Race with Your Children

Sep 8, 2020

In this episode of The Forum Podcast, Farzana Nayani (Farzana Nayani, Consulting and Training) offers options on learn how to interact with children about diversity at home, at school and in the community.

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Are you a part of a parenting-focused ERG looking for the way to create programming around challenging topics such as race, culture and intersectionality, and don’t know how to address this—especially in this current societal climate? Are you a parent or caregiver and lead DEI efforts at work, but are wondering how to talk to your children at home, with an age-appropriate method that is comfortable for you?

In this episode, Farzana begins with an overview of key subject areas, and next she delves into more practical tips and strategies on developing an approach that works for you and your family. This discussion can help you process through how to overcome potential challenges and move into these conversations and moments with more ease.

Learning Outcomes
  • Explore how to discuss race, culture, intersectionality in a culturally sensitive, impactful, and comfortable way
  • Reflect on our own approach to culture and diversity, and parenting style
  • Learn developmental stages and practice strategies of how to talk children about differences

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Transcript

Parenting in Troubled Times- Addressing Race with Your Children

Intro: [00:00:00] The Forum on Workplace Inclusion® podcast is sponsored by US Bank. Embracing what makes us unique creates more possibilities for all. Learn more at usbank.com/diversity US Bank member FDIC equal housing lender.

[00:00:12] You’re listening to The Forum on Workplace Inclusion podcast. We get to engage people, advance ideas and ignite change because the generous support from our community. If you find our resources meaningful or valuable, please consider supporting the Forum today. Visit forumworkplaceinclusion.org/donate that’s forumworkplaceinclusion.org/donate. Thank you very much for your support and generosity.

[00:00:35] Nominations are now open for our 2021 diversity awards. The diversity awards program recognizes individuals or organizations showcasing exemplary insight and fortitude in the area of workplace diversity, equity and inclusion. Know someone that you’d like to nominate. Visit forumworkplaceinclusion.org, and submit your nomination today.

[00:00:56] With that I’d like to say thank you to all our listeners and subscribers. You help support the growth of the podcast and reach new listeners. If you like what you’re hearing on the forum podcast, please consider writing a review on Apple podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you’ve already written a review. Thank you. Please consider sharing our podcast with a friend, family member or a colleague you think might find value in the content word of mouth is the best way the Forum grows. So thank you very much for listening and sharing. Thanks again, and enjoy the show.

[00:01:27]

Benjamin Rue: [00:01:27] Hello, thank you for joining us for today’s podcast Parenting in Troubled Times with Farzana Nayani of Farzana Nayani Consulting. I’m Ben Ru program coordinator here at the Forum. Are you part of the parenting focus, ERG looking for the way to create programming around challenging topics, such as race, culture, and intersectionality, and don’t know how to address this, especially in this current societal climate.

[00:01:52] Are you a parent or caregiver and lead DEI efforts at work, but are wondering how to talk to your own children at home with an age appropriate method that is comfortable for you. In this podcast, you’ll learn how to interact with children about diversity at home, at school and in the community. We’ll begin with an overview of key subject areas and we’ll delve into more practical tips and strategies on developing an approach that works for you and your family.

[00:02:23] This discussion can help you process through how to overcome potential challenges and move into those conversations and moments with more ease. Farzana Nayani is a passionate advocate and educator regarding the understanding of culture and race within corporations, nonprofit organizations, public agencies, school districts, and the community.

[00:02:45] She holds a master’s degree in communications and management. From The University of Hawaii Manoa and the esteemed east-west center, as well as a bachelor of education and a bachelor of arts in psychology and English from the university of British Columbia as a former classroom educator, and a multiethnic parent of multi-racial children.

[00:03:05] Nayani has focused on bridging, understanding across cultural differences throughout her entire career and her personal life. In her current work as a diversity equity inclusion consultant and intercultural specialist, Nayani has conducted research workshops and curriculum design across cultural topics for two decades.

[00:03:24] Her work has appeared in Forbes magazine, Diversity, Inc, LA Parent, The Smithsonian and NPR. She has been on the advisory board of multi-racial Americans of Southern California, a multi-racial community organization for 15, 15 years. And is coaching faculty for the diversity equity and inclusion coaching center at the forum on workplace inclusion, her new book, Raising Multicultural Children: Tools for Nursing Identity in a Racialized World, is distributed by Penguin Random House and is available widely more information can be found at. www.farzananayani.com or by following her on social media @FarzanaNayani.

[00:04:05]

Farzana Nayani: [00:04:05] Welcome everyone. It’s so wonderful to be here with you today to talk about our topic today. On parenting in troubled times, addressing race with your children as was mentioned. My name is Farzana Nayani my pronouns are she her and hers. I’m a diversity equity and inclusion educator, author and facilitator. And recently I just published a book called Raising Multi-racial Children: Tools for Nurturing Identity in a Racialized World. And today I’ll  draw from some of the content from that book. So if you’d like to follow up and read more, I welcome and invite you to go ahead and purchase that book.

[00:04:51] It’s available very widely through penguin, random house. And today I’ll also bring up. Some conversation and dialogue and examples from also my life is being a parent. I don’t get to talk about that as much, but I feel that while we’re speaking today, it’ll be really important to really grounded in the lived experience that I have as a woman of color and educator and appearance.

[00:05:19] So let’s get started with looking at the current context. It’s really thinking about you. We’re in this global pandemic, we have a lot of schooling from home going on. We’re currently isolated from others. We’re social distancing. And in, on top of that, the heart of the matter is also that we’re in a period of racial unrest.

[00:05:40] There’s continued racial struggle and systemic discrimination. And as we navigate this, this, this is difficult for us. But imagine if we can think about also, how are our kids doing and all of this, and additionally, how do we support them? It’s, it’s really something to, to sort of turn the table and think about our kids because.

[00:06:04] They are younger. They process things differently. And at the same time, they’re exposed to what we’re exposed to. So in terms of the conversation today, I’d like to invite you to, to, to also reflect on what so questions are and thoughts are that you have about this topic. What are some situations you’ve encountered that you are really grappling with?

[00:06:26] And as I speak across the country and now virtually, globally. I’ve come into the conversation with many, many, many people, whether they be employees at organizations or parents of children working from home, where there are a lot of things that are in the field that we’re navigating. And the question is how do we approach that?

[00:06:52] And to think about this in terms of what are some questions that come to mind would be helpful for today? As we talk about. How to discuss race during these current times, in terms of our conversation, you may have seen some graphical representations of something called the zones of comfort and learning.

[00:07:13] And really it’s talking about how, when we started talking about something uncomfortable, we go from the comfort zone that we’re in to the fear zone, where we might feel fearful of doing something wrong. And that definitely is present. When we talk about race or thinking, think about talking about race with kids and, and then eventually we do get to the learning zone and hopefully the growth zone.

[00:07:40] As we talk about this topic today, I encourage you to think about your own comfort zone and how we’ll push through that. And what moves you into the zone of fear and a lot of the, the points that I’ll raise, talk about how we as adults can be prepared and ready to enter that zone and move through it, to learning.

[00:08:06] So that’s, that’s something to think about as, as we continue the conversation. So for today, just a few points in terms of what we’ll cover. We’ll talk about how to explore, how to speak with kids about race in a, in a sensitive and an impactful way and, and reflect on your own approach to race and diversity in general and parenting.

[00:08:28] I think this is super important. I found that. As my kids have grown over time. They’re now eight and turning 10 that my approach to this has evolved as well. I’ve grown as much as they have. And, and you’ll find that in your own parenting or educating of kids, that that is something that will be present for you.

[00:08:51] I’d also like to talk about some of the developmental stages of how to talk to kids about race. We’re finding that kids are understanding this earlier than we think, and I’ll share some points today about that. And then finally thinking about some approaches for parenting teaching children, especially during these current times.

[00:09:10] And I know that listeners here may be coming from organizations where. You could be a part of a parenting employee resource group, or perhaps you work at a school district or a higher education institution. And you’re looking for ways to support parents during this time with the kids being at home. my partner, my husband, his company actually, started to share some resources for parents.

[00:09:39] And over the summer here with the kids at home. that comes in the form of art classes and, and other educational, opportunities. I’ve also seen some other work being done by groups, and I’ve spoken for example, at, different organizations on how to talk to kids about race. So what we’re seeing is in these current times that.

[00:10:01] There really is this integration of, of home and work that has never happened before. And then you add on top of that society and what we’re facing globally, as well as in our country. And all of that is this combination of what our kids are being exposed to. So as, as we consider all of these things, it’s really grounded in this dynamic.

[00:10:28] This dynamic of the time we’re in. And also the fact that we’re virtual and that our kids are at home at the same time. As, as we start to talk about how to talk to kids about race, what I always have to begin with is the why. And I get asked this question a lot. Why Farzana should we talk to kids about race and especially why do we need to bring this up at such a young age or even throughout their life?

[00:11:01] Right. And there’s this propensity towards, well, if I just love my child or I treat the kids in my class the same, then that’s fair. And that’s enough. And this colorblindness phenomenon is something I talk about in my book where. It really is instrumental for us to hit that head on and not rely upon the fact that we believe that ignoring race is the answer.

[00:11:30] And, and the reason for that is that there have been studies done that look at kids at, even from birth and prove that that they’re not too young to talk about race because they actually recognize it. in my book, there is a graphic by the children’s community school that was created by them in partnership with a number of people of color scholars, researchers, and activists.

[00:11:59] And it’s this phenomenal pictorial of how kids as young, even as two years old, use race to reason about people’s behaviors. When, when, when kids are born. They look equally at the faces of all races, but then by three months they start to kind of favor, races and faces of, of, of people that match their own.

[00:12:26] And this goes on. And so by the time they’re three, they start to have prejudice. And by five, they people of color, children of color in particular, start to favor whiteness. And this is alarming because we think, Oh, well, they’re too young to notice. They’re too young to have an opinion or treat people differently.

[00:12:48] And that the research here shows that that’s not the case. It goes on and on to look at how, when children are five and seven years old, they, they start to really, harden their racial attitudes. And, and this is, this is reinforced by what we’re consuming right in the media, by what we’re exposed to what we’re exposing our kids to the toys we choose, the books that they read.

[00:13:19] And there are a phenomenal number of studies shown showing that the diversity in children’s books or, or lack thereof, Has actually caused kids to not see themselves in what we’re showing them in terms of, you know, literature. And so what you see is there’s a study done by the Cooperative Children’s Book Center, School of Education at The University of Wisconsin-Madison.

[00:13:50] And they show that only 10% of children’s books depict African-American characters. So you in effect, we’ll have more animals and firetrucks and cartoon figures that aren’t children of color than you will actual children of color. And it gets worse. So Asian, Pacific Islander, or, API children or characters is only 7% in books, Latin-X, only 5%. and then first nations or Native American characters, only 1%. So what you’re seeing is a reflection of children of color is not in there. And that can damage a child’s self-esteem. If they’re a person of color can also really harm children who are white, because they feel, they learned that their, their presence is, is, is more a dominant.

[00:14:50] And so as we go through life and as we work through our organization, some of those attitudes persist and it’s so harmful to just take in the average, the average show library of books. I, I encourage, for example, schools and, and, and homes like in your home to you should do a book audit. You should audit your own library, right? Like go through the bookshelves at home that you have with their kids and at school and see what books that they’re reading, because it will, over-index in this. In this, direction. So you actually have to go and dismantle that and be actively anti-racist and, and you have to overcompensate bike surrounding your kids with more books of children, of color or characters of color to offset this discrepancy.

[00:15:48] And what happens is if kids aren’t exposed to this in a purposeful, active way, then they’ll fill in the blanks with what’s in the media with, with, you know, harmful depictions of let’s say immigrants or, Islamophobia or. police brutality or, you know, seeing around them, are organizations that predominantly have white leadership.

[00:16:16] And we, as adults are exposed to that, but think about kids. So when they grow up thinking about who’s going to be a boss, if you ask them who a boss looks like, They may have a certain picture in their head, unless, unless we overcome that default position.

[00:16:34] So this is, this is the state of affairs we’re in. And the Sesame Workshop actually did a study on our preparedness to talk about race with kids. They interviewed thousands of parents and found that most parents don’t talk to kids about race – unless something happens. And so predominantly white families end up or white parents end up not talking to kids about race, unless there’s an incident.

[00:17:06] And that comes later. Whereas parents of color tend to do that earlier because there usually is an incident of a microaggression or. some issue either at school or the park or the sports team. And what happens is then the first initiation of a discussion about race is one that comes from conflict or trauma.

[00:17:27] And this is not what we want. We don’t want the first discussion about race to come from a place of potential harm or disagreement or pain. We want to actually be proactive. And I talk about this in my book in terms of the first step is noticing race in a neutral and positive way. Right? So, because people feel that if I notice race, then I’m making it an issue and that’s, that’s not it. I am different than other people. My skin is more Brown than other people, and it could be lighter than other people. And I’ve had conversations with my kids about skin color, using the different multicultural crayons that are out there from different brands and the matching that when they do their homework or do a drawing and it’s a fun activity.

[00:18:24] It’s something you can do, but there’s no judgment around darker skin being better or worse or lighter skin being better or worse. It’s simply a difference that we notice. And then what you have to do after that is create a positive association specifically also around different skin tones. Because of what we’re fed.

[00:18:46] And the crayon example is something I write about in my book, because I feel that a lot of people have had this growing up where it, and you may have had this, but I remember seeing the box of crayons and you, the kids calling the peach color, crayon skin color. Right. So that’s how I grew up. And when I was a child, my default position was that peach is skin and therefore, maybe I want it to be more normal and, and, and be more peach rather than Brown. So you’ll have kids that will want that, especially with what what’s going on in the current times, if there’s an understanding that certain people are targeted for their skin color, you might find that kids don’t understand that it’s a systemic issue.

[00:19:36] So the way about the way to go about addressing that is to first of all, again, as I said, notice race in a positive or neutral way. And then the second part is to create positive associations with a variety of different skin tones. And what this will do is combat colorism, which is the favoritism of light skin, which happens in all communities.

[00:20:04] I’m Philippina and Pakistani. My ethnic background is, is that so I’m Asian and this happens on both sides of my family, where. In my communities, there is a preference for light skin. This happens in the black community. This happens around the world in many communities. Now, if we don’t, what happens is there can be unconscious bias.

[00:20:26] That’s created in children and this percents persists throughout. And we end up looking at that and my diversity equity and inclusion consulting work. I see that in adults, in, in, groups. And leadership and organizations, so that unconscious bias starts somewhere. It doesn’t just stop here when you’re an adult, it actually gets baked in, in childhood and throughout.

[00:20:52] And that’s why I’m so glad to be talking with you about this today, because I feel that there’s a lot that we can do to overcome it early. If we also don’t talk about it, then there can be microaggressions that are either experienced or perpetrated. And this all leads to continue to systemic oppression and an equity that we face.

[00:21:15] So as, as this problem is now painted, and we understand the reason why we should talk about race. The question next is, How? And this really starts with our adults here with their ability to ascertain what their approach is. Meaning, are you ready to talk about this? Are you ready? Not the kids. We’ve seen the kids absorb this and they will take our lead with what we do as adults.

[00:21:46] So are we ready? And what’s great, is that, we have this moment in time where we can reflect on this, you know, we’re, we’re, we’re in a time where we’re consuming a lot of information. We’re really, kind of doubling down on our values, our priorities, our health, our family’s dynamics, and, and focusing now. And part of that is, is looking at what your approach is  to difference. What your approach is to, excuse me, healing. What your approach is to society. And part of that is, determining what your approach is to difference.

[00:22:27] So you will need to take into account if you’re comfortable. And I have shared a few models in my book around how to reflect on that, as well as thinking about your partners approach to it or, or extended family’s approach to talking about race and, and really adjusting depending on the needs of the child, the age of the child, your external events that are going on and your, your identity as well.

[00:22:58] So these are things that affect how we approach it. And this is where we can now turn to some of the issues that you may have come across in your approach. And as I mentioned, I, I speak across the country and globally around this. And what I found is that there are some common issues and questions that come up that I’d like to talk about today. The common questions that come up one includes, well Farzana if I bring this up, doesn’t it bring attention to it.

[00:23:34] And why would I want to do that? We’ve covered that in terms of that, it is. Inherently necessary because of the fact that kids are exposed to this, that they need to be able to be supported. So this, this question around, well, doesn’t it bring attention to it? It doesn’t hold up anymore because the world is bringing attention to it. And we have a responsibility to help children process the world around them. Now we made, still decide to shield them from that, but that what that does is it provides, it creates a disservice for them because they’re not able to properly understand the context of the world around them and how they can dismantle racism, how they can be active agents of change, how they can reflect on their own behavior to not.

[00:24:27] Perpetrate bias and how we, as parents can be models for them. So, so we really need to approach that and that’s where we move through the zones of, of, of, you know, discomfort and fear to where we can learn. And that leads to the second point. The second common question I get is what if  I don’t know the answer to what comes up, and this is something that it’s – very understandable. What, not all of us have all the tools or know everything about everything in history or, how to approach it. So what I suggest here is to try to think about any other topic that you don’t know about, whether it be in science or whether it be, you know, how a car works, what would you do then?

[00:25:16] You, you would, would you make up an answer? Likely not what you would likely say to your child is, you know what, I don’t know, let’s try to find out together and that’s it. That’s what you do here. You start to instill a sense of curiosity of questioning of exploration and really come at it with an open heart.

[00:25:39] And I get that it’s different than something like. You know, putting together a puzzle, right? Like let’s, let’s learn that I get that that is different. But the principle applies around admitting that we don’t know everything and kids seeing our vulnerability and respecting that. And then joining that journey together.

[00:26:02] The third common question I get is that my kids are too young to talk about this and when is the appropriate age. I’ll share more about certain milestones that can be places for you to engage either through even introducing media, like movies or certain books. And I really feel that it can start as early.  Like I said, as, as when they’re, infants. Right? So when my kids were young, someone gave us this really neat – a board book. It was this accordion style book that when the kids, when the babies were doing tummy time, that they could stare at the contrast of black and white. So their eyes could develop in, in studies prove that that helps with that their vision.  And, and then soon after that, I received another gift of a book with kids of different faces, different races. And I just had those around. At home. And so you could do those things really young. And then as you go through a learning with their age development, you can incorporate different other resources that are age appropriate and grade appropriate.

[00:27:16] And, and speaking of that, the milestones that children run into, I feel that can be helpful for you to think about are starting with age zero ages, zero to three. They’re quite openly exposed to difference whether they notice eye, color, skin, color, hair, texture, differences in names. And, and what you can do is instill the value of how a normal differences are and how beautiful differences are and how you react to them. You can do that through storybooks, even showing pictures of friends, you know, we’re, we’re interacting online. And so when I’m on certain calls, I’d call my kids over to say, hi. to different people. So you can do that in these current times.

[00:28:03] Ages three to five, you start to notice the differences and start to appreciate them and add the value to it.  And, you know, I like to use a different color crayons and, and, you know, discussion with the movies or using maps to talk about where people are from and, you know, parts of the world and what people look like.

[00:28:23] Ages six to eight, you start to relate to them the difference and understand what is acceptable, positive, unacceptable judgments, looking at certain customs religions. you could do your own family tree thinking about heroes and sheroes. A really great book is a book called Little Heroes of Color by a friend of mine, David Heredia. Fantastic book about, you know, different heroes in history of different countries and they’re all heroes of color. So these are things that you can start to incorporate into children’s learning.

[00:29:01] Ages nine to 12, they start to embrace difference and you really start to understand fitting in and not fitting in and how we can include everyone.  And that can be looked at through reading, as well as discussions. you know, I really like to go to museums. A lot of museums right now have virtual tours. So you can look at artifacts from different cultures and countries and just really discover your own family’s culture as well as others.

[00:29:28]Ages 13+, I would say this is where you start to understand how you can really benefit from leveraging difference in how it’s fundamental to society and, and think about travel and think about. music and, and the integration of that and, and talk about society. And, and this is where you can also start to, really dig into the systemic issues that are at play.

[00:29:52] And, and, and this goes into some of the other common issues and questions that have been raised around- how?

[00:30:00] A fourth one that I get a lot is, well, if I have a family member who has bias or someone I disagree with, how do I handle it? And you’ll find that at family gatherings, you know, you might have that Uncle Joe that makes that off hand comment that is really undercutting a sense of diversity and equity and inclusion that you foster in your own home or environment in your classroom and you have a choice to make. About how you address Uncle Joe. Now, if you ignore uncle Joe and his comment and let it go, your kids notice that. Now what if you want to, respect uncle Joe and not disagree with them in front of everyone, you can take him aside and talk to him and hopefully you’ll take the opportunity to debrief with your children to explain why that comment was inappropriate.  And another option is to have someone else intervene. So what if that’s not your uncle Joe, that’s your partner’s uncle Joe or somebody else’s uncle Joe. Maybe they can intervene as an ally and an advocate accomplice.  You can also, make like a broad statement to everybody in the room, not just uncle Joe. There are a lot of ways to deal with the uncle Joe’s in our lives and really start to, to foster anti-racism in our approach. Like we have to be active in it. We can’t just have racial epithets cross the paths of our children because it normalizes it. And, you know, whether it be in music or whether it be in what we see in movies or in a meme on Instagram, whatever comes across it, you know, we’re in times where we’re particularly looking at Black Lives Matter and we’re looking at anti-Asian racism due to COVID that has come up, we’re looking at so many things, so we can’t let things go. We actually have to dress them.

[00:31:58] Related to that number five, how I talk about race without furthering stereotypes? This is a really good question because it can be difficult to address. Let’s say something around, police brutality without thinking that. you know, why is there, over-indexing of this happening to people of color, right.

[00:32:20] Is there something wrong with people of color? What’s what I don’t want to be a person of color. Maybe the kid will conclude that and you don’t want that. Right. So how do you go about it? And what I say is to just go back to leveraging this idea of society and systemic issues like red lining or understanding how people come across a certain opinions that are formed over time. And just to explain to them, I just say that things are wrong. You know, like, that Starbucks incident that happened a couple of years ago where the two black men were arrested for simply being there, waiting for their white friend to show up for a meeting about real estate. I remember that. So clearly my kids, I think were five and seven at the time. And I stopped and talked to them and I said, you know, something’s bothering me right now. You know, mom’s upset about something. And they said, what? And I said, you know, there’s these two men who were there and they got arrested and it was because their skin was darker. Do you think that’s fair? And they said, no. And I said, what would you do if you saw that happening? And they said, well, I would stand up. Like, would you say something? Yeah. And is that okay? No, it’s, it’s bullying and that’s what it is. So you have, you can have conversations about current events in a way that it doesn’t further a stereotype, right. It’s just clearly, you know, what is going on. And, and, and then what, there’s some examples for how to just get the conversation going. I have this, this one thing that I do with my kids, where I ask them to name three things you notice, name two things that you wish for, no name, two things that you wonder and name one thing that you wish for. So notice, wonder, and wish. And then we do that at the dinner table or in the car while we’re driving. Like, what do you notice? What are you noticing? Just gauge what’s on their mind and that’s helpful. So you know what they’re thinking about. And then when you wonder, and you can push that, you can get them to wonder in different ways. And then what you wish for, and that’s where advocacy and social justice comes in. Like, I wish that that didn’t happen to people or wish that, you know, we could create a law that could, you know, protect people, around this particular issue. So that’s how you, you start to do that.

[00:34:44] And, you know, as you continue working through this, just exposing them to different things. Making sure that your own friendships are diverse. And so what you can do is also do an audit on yourself, and you may realize that you don’t have a lot of diversity in your life, and that is okay. But you need to address that and there’s this fantastic book by Dr. Debra Plumber called -Some of My Friends are – and it’s about cross racial friendships. I highly recommend this book because it really pushes you to think about the, the color lines that are built in society and how we can cross them through friendships and also with our kids.

[00:35:30] So as, as we start to kind of, move into to, to the takeaways for today, really the thought here is thinking about noticing differences and celebrating differences, not in a superficial way, but in a deep understanding of the difference. And then thinking about how to dress when current events come up in an age appropriate way, that makes it easy for them to understand and hopefully become little advocates and, and, and helpers in, in, in justice and overcoming racism.

[00:36:08] So to, to kind of move it into your own reflection. Now think about what some strategies are that have been in your life just around ways that you’ve talked to children about diversity culture, race, and, and reflect on what has worked, what hasn’t. And you can start to think about how you feel. As this is happening. So recording your mind, or you could even journal if something takes place in conversation or in front of you as a situation, like do an inventory of how you’re feeling and think about how your partner is reacting, how your colleagues are reacting, reflect on what your child is ready to learn about. And, what I’d like to offer to you is that if you, if you, if you go onto my website, which is farzananayani.com. So it’s my first and last name.com. If you join my email list, I created a document that is called the racial dialogue readiness questionnaire, and it, it comes from some content in my book and I’ve made it into a really easy to use handout. And that’s what you can use to reflect just on a, as things are happening or your approach to race. So I’d like to offer that to everyone who’s listening here because I feel that, you know, taking this away, moving it into action is a real benefit to, to try to continue, the conversation and the exploration and the journey of this.

[00:37:41] Additionally, some resources I can recommend. I have an entire appendix,  in my book, that has a glossary about racial terms. I have lesson plans in there and then I have another chapter on resources;  i.e. books to read, different podcasts. Like this one is fantastic. So you can continue to, incorporate that into your learning in your life.  And, and in that it’s separated also by, You know, books about diversity or books about belonging or movies that you can incorporate, like for example;  Loving Days, a movie about, Anti-miscegenation laws in the United States, which is what that means is that, People of different races couldn’t marry and that how that changed in 1967. Fantastic movie. When I was writing my book and I was, reviewing all of these resources, I had that movie playing and my kids were able to watch it with me and have a discussion. And again, we talked about, was that fair? Was that right? What would you do? And it was so fascinating to see my kids. Really, take it in and, be able to have an opinion.

[00:39:00] So don’t be afraid to incorporate that into your life, whether it be the multicultural type crayons from different brands or, being able to incorporate, moral thought and learning as well.

[00:39:13] Shout out to there’s a brand of crayon called More Than Peach Project it’s created by a nine-year-old, African-American girl. And she was enthused by this  need to have more than the flesh color being peach. And, she calls herself a cran-activist. And I just love that. It’s so inspiring.

[00:39:32] So anyhow, you can continue to look at resources that are being shared right now. I have an Instagram profile called multi-racial matters. So specifically, if you’re interested in looking at raising multi-racial children, or if you’re a multi-racial person yourself, that is a resource for you. I mentioned my book already called Raising Multi-Racial Children: Tools for Nurturing Identity in a Racialized World. And what’s great about that is it’s got a lot of the discussions that I’ve shared with you today around race in general. So meaning even if you don’t have a multiracial child, or if you’re not a multi-racial person yourself, it talks about how to talk about race. It talks about race itself. It talks about the census. It talks about the systemic view we have. And I think it’s really great to delve into that. So I invite you to read that as well.

[00:40:27] Some final closing thoughts for today. Just thinking about, you know, what, what, how did, how do we move forward? And I really want to say to just not be afraid to start the conversation. And in fact, you know, it is going on around us and we need to engage in that.

[00:40:46] And as, as the second point is, as you go through that, the more you reflect and think through your approach before something happens, then the easier it will be to have the conversation when something happens, because it will, and we’re in this time of this beautiful awakening and a pushing of what our current status quo is in so many ways. And you know that this is what is happening. The world around us is happening so we can use that as a catalyst for these discussions.

[00:41:22] Thirdly. I mentioned lots of resources that are out there, books, films, podcasts, utilize them, keep that learning going.

[00:41:30] And, related to that number four, as you’re continuing your online and ongoing learning and exploration note that you will shift over time and really think about it, that you will grow as your children will grow. And as, as they grow, you’ll grow so it’s reciprocal.

[00:41:51] Finally, number five, keep it, keeping that reflection and dialogue with yourself and others. And really know that this is a process of opening of healing and continuing to advocate for those around us. And in order to have a better world overall.

[00:42:13] I want to thank you for joining me today. You can reach me again at my website www.farzananayani.com. And my social media handle is my first and last name Farzana Nayani. I’m. reachable by LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, and I would love to stay in contact with you. Thank you so much for joining today.

[00:42:35]

Benjamin Rue: [00:42:35] Thank you so much Farzana for that wonderful podcast. And thank you listeners for joining us. If you’d like to learn more or continue the conversation, please feel free to visit Farzana at her website www.farzananayani.com or follow her on social media at Farzana Nayani. You can listen to more of the forum podcast at our website forumworkplaceinclusion.org/podcasts or you can also listen on Apple podcasts, Spotify, anchor and Stitcher. Thank you again, and have a great day.

[00:43:08]

Outro: [00:43:08] Thank you again for listening to The Forum on Workplace Inclusion podcast. Don’t forget to subscribe to our podcast to get updates and the latest episodes also tell us what you think by reviewing our podcast. We’d love to hear your feedback for more information. Visit us at forumworkplaceinclusion.org, or search Workplace Forum on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. Thank you very much and have a great day.

[00:43:33] The Forum on Workplace Inclusion podcast is recorded at Augsburg University in Minneapolis, Minnesota. One of the most diverse private colleges in the Midwest. Augsburg University offers more than 50 undergraduate majors and nine graduate degrees to 3,400 students of diverse backgrounds at its campus in the vibrant center of the twin cities and nearby Rochester, Minnesota location. Augsburg educates students to be informed citizens, thoughtful stewards, critical thinkers, and responsible leaders. An Augsburg education is defined by excellence in the liberal arts and professional studies guided by the faith and values of the Lutheran church and shaped by its urban and global settings. Learn more at augsburg.edu.

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